A year ago I made people laugh. Fortunately, it wasn’t JUST a year ago I made people laugh. I’ve been doing it ever since, quite successfully some would say (ok, ‘some’ means ‘me’). Granted, it usually falls in the ‘unintentional comedy’ area, and it mostly involves my family laughing at something idiotic I’ve done, but hey…a laugh’s a laugh!
Anyway, a year ago on June 20, my son, Reese, married an incredibly wonderful, beautiful, way-over-his-head young lady named Melanie. Reese did me the incredible and totally unexpected honor of selecting me to be his best man. The rehearsal, ceremony, and reception went off very well…the message by the pastor, the welcome and prayer at the reception, the DJ…all fell into line quite nicely.
Then came time for toasting the happy couple...the maid of honor did her thing…and I was given the microphone…and decided to ‘wing it’.
For those who weren’t there…you sense it coming, don’t you? One of those ‘I can see the train wreck about to happen and there’s nothing I can do about it so I’ll just sit back and watch’. For those who were there, and remember what I said…try to keep your snickering to just that, please!
After Melanie’s maid of honor, Sarah, gave her toast (done very well…had a script and everything!), it was my turn. I have to say, I started well. It did sound promising…something about ‘make each other laugh’, ‘keep laughter and fun in your marriage’, etc, etc. Nothing bad or embarrassing. Yet.
One of the many problems I deal with on a daily basis (and Noelle and the kids suffer BECAUSE of it as well) is mush mouth. I mumble my words sometimes; let my mouth get ahead of my brain and thoughts. It is affectionately referred to as ‘Mark mouth’, from my days on stage when I would mumble my lines and the director would yell at me, again, to E-NUN-CIATE!! Sure enough, the beast reared its ugly head at the wrong time.
What I MEANT to say as I was wrapping up the toast, talking about the life they have in front of them, was… ‘it’s going to be a great ride.’
What came out of my mouth was… ‘SHE’S going to be a great ride.’
Classy! Suave! Smooth! Yeah, that’s me!!
Fortunately, I was on the back side of the toast, bringing it in for a landing, TOTALLY oblivious to my (some would say ‘Freudian’) slip, so what laughter there was I didn’t hear (I also knew the cutting of the cake was next, so I’m sure my mind was drifting to getting some to eat….hmmmmm, wedding cake…). Anyway, I said, ‘to Reese and Melanie’, we all toasted and went on.
As I’m moving toward the cake area, my best friend, Brian, quickly calls me to his table. When I sat down, he said, with a big smile on his face, ‘Did you REALLY mean to say ‘SHE’S going to be a great ride?’ I paused, started wondering what he was talking about, looked at the other side of the table where two other friends, Kathy and Cindy, were vigorously nodding their heads and laughing…then my eyes started growing wide! “I SAID that?” Yes, I was assured, I did say that. And it was on video tape. For EVERYONE (including my future grandchildren) to hear!!
GENIOUS!! Unintentional comedy OFF the scale!! Thank you! I’ll be here all night!
So, in light of needing to re-phrase my toast, and in celebration of their ONE YEAR anniversary…let me ask your indulgence as I say what I should have said back then.
“I remember the first time I met Reese, about 18 or 19 years ago. He was not a happy guy. Not having a good day. He was crying, cold, wet….naked. People roughing him up, moving him from here to there…just not a good time. But I saw something special in this kid...something I could build on. So I took him under my wing…helped him grow, molded him, shaped him…you could almost say I was a ‘father figure’ to him. Almost!
Seriously, it’s incredible to me and your mom that we are here watching you start this next chapter in your life. It may have seemed slow to you, but to us it’s gone by so fast!
Following Sarah’s lead about Melanie’s old boyfriends, I’ll say we do remember all your old girlfriends…some we liked, very nice girls. The others…eh, not so much. I remember the first time you had a girl sleep over at our house…when you both were about five! It was quite the scandal in our church then! (She was at the reception, by the way, so I’m sure that would have made her blush. And, Laura Lynn, don’t worry, I would only have pointed in your general direction!) Girlfriends came and went, but when you started dating Melanie, there was something different. I remember asking you, ‘What do you see in her?’ And not in a sarcastic way, but I was really curious. And you said, ‘Dad, she makes me laugh’.
That’s good, son. Laughter is great, especially as the years go by. I used to make your mom laugh at funny things I would say or do…now she just laughs at me when I’m NOT trying to be funny, but she’s still laughing. I hope you guys can keep that.
Melanie, you are now the new number one in Reese’s life, after God of course. It’s a title that Noelle and I willingly and with excitement give to you, because we know you are worthy of it. We also give over to you his personality, his goofiness, his desire to play video games ALL THE TIME, his moods, his laundry…it’s all your, honey! Let me know how it works for ya!! Seriously, we couldn’t be happier for him and you…welcome to our family!
You’re both starting what I believer to be an incredible life, your future looks very bright and I believe God’s got great things in store for the two of you. I can tell you both have a deep, caring love for each other. You’re starting very young, some would say, but that’s good in that as you continue to grow your personal ‘roots’ in life, they will intertwine with the others, and your bond to each other will be that much stronger!
IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT RIDE, this life of yours, and I can’t wait to see where it takes you. I love you both! I pray God’s blessings on you.
To Reese and Melanie!”
Happy anniversary, kids! Hope the ride continues to be fun and exciting!
Anyway, a year ago on June 20, my son, Reese, married an incredibly wonderful, beautiful, way-over-his-head young lady named Melanie. Reese did me the incredible and totally unexpected honor of selecting me to be his best man. The rehearsal, ceremony, and reception went off very well…the message by the pastor, the welcome and prayer at the reception, the DJ…all fell into line quite nicely.
Then came time for toasting the happy couple...the maid of honor did her thing…and I was given the microphone…and decided to ‘wing it’.
For those who weren’t there…you sense it coming, don’t you? One of those ‘I can see the train wreck about to happen and there’s nothing I can do about it so I’ll just sit back and watch’. For those who were there, and remember what I said…try to keep your snickering to just that, please!
After Melanie’s maid of honor, Sarah, gave her toast (done very well…had a script and everything!), it was my turn. I have to say, I started well. It did sound promising…something about ‘make each other laugh’, ‘keep laughter and fun in your marriage’, etc, etc. Nothing bad or embarrassing. Yet.
One of the many problems I deal with on a daily basis (and Noelle and the kids suffer BECAUSE of it as well) is mush mouth. I mumble my words sometimes; let my mouth get ahead of my brain and thoughts. It is affectionately referred to as ‘Mark mouth’, from my days on stage when I would mumble my lines and the director would yell at me, again, to E-NUN-CIATE!! Sure enough, the beast reared its ugly head at the wrong time.
What I MEANT to say as I was wrapping up the toast, talking about the life they have in front of them, was… ‘it’s going to be a great ride.’
What came out of my mouth was… ‘SHE’S going to be a great ride.’
Classy! Suave! Smooth! Yeah, that’s me!!
Fortunately, I was on the back side of the toast, bringing it in for a landing, TOTALLY oblivious to my (some would say ‘Freudian’) slip, so what laughter there was I didn’t hear (I also knew the cutting of the cake was next, so I’m sure my mind was drifting to getting some to eat….hmmmmm, wedding cake…). Anyway, I said, ‘to Reese and Melanie’, we all toasted and went on.
As I’m moving toward the cake area, my best friend, Brian, quickly calls me to his table. When I sat down, he said, with a big smile on his face, ‘Did you REALLY mean to say ‘SHE’S going to be a great ride?’ I paused, started wondering what he was talking about, looked at the other side of the table where two other friends, Kathy and Cindy, were vigorously nodding their heads and laughing…then my eyes started growing wide! “I SAID that?” Yes, I was assured, I did say that. And it was on video tape. For EVERYONE (including my future grandchildren) to hear!!
GENIOUS!! Unintentional comedy OFF the scale!! Thank you! I’ll be here all night!
So, in light of needing to re-phrase my toast, and in celebration of their ONE YEAR anniversary…let me ask your indulgence as I say what I should have said back then.
“I remember the first time I met Reese, about 18 or 19 years ago. He was not a happy guy. Not having a good day. He was crying, cold, wet….naked. People roughing him up, moving him from here to there…just not a good time. But I saw something special in this kid...something I could build on. So I took him under my wing…helped him grow, molded him, shaped him…you could almost say I was a ‘father figure’ to him. Almost!
Seriously, it’s incredible to me and your mom that we are here watching you start this next chapter in your life. It may have seemed slow to you, but to us it’s gone by so fast!
Following Sarah’s lead about Melanie’s old boyfriends, I’ll say we do remember all your old girlfriends…some we liked, very nice girls. The others…eh, not so much. I remember the first time you had a girl sleep over at our house…when you both were about five! It was quite the scandal in our church then! (She was at the reception, by the way, so I’m sure that would have made her blush. And, Laura Lynn, don’t worry, I would only have pointed in your general direction!) Girlfriends came and went, but when you started dating Melanie, there was something different. I remember asking you, ‘What do you see in her?’ And not in a sarcastic way, but I was really curious. And you said, ‘Dad, she makes me laugh’.
That’s good, son. Laughter is great, especially as the years go by. I used to make your mom laugh at funny things I would say or do…now she just laughs at me when I’m NOT trying to be funny, but she’s still laughing. I hope you guys can keep that.
Melanie, you are now the new number one in Reese’s life, after God of course. It’s a title that Noelle and I willingly and with excitement give to you, because we know you are worthy of it. We also give over to you his personality, his goofiness, his desire to play video games ALL THE TIME, his moods, his laundry…it’s all your, honey! Let me know how it works for ya!! Seriously, we couldn’t be happier for him and you…welcome to our family!
You’re both starting what I believer to be an incredible life, your future looks very bright and I believe God’s got great things in store for the two of you. I can tell you both have a deep, caring love for each other. You’re starting very young, some would say, but that’s good in that as you continue to grow your personal ‘roots’ in life, they will intertwine with the others, and your bond to each other will be that much stronger!
IT’S GOING TO BE A GREAT RIDE, this life of yours, and I can’t wait to see where it takes you. I love you both! I pray God’s blessings on you.
To Reese and Melanie!”
Happy anniversary, kids! Hope the ride continues to be fun and exciting!
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