Routine

The routine in the Massey home on school mornings goes something like this:

I get up, go tell Reese to stop ignoring his alarm and get in the shower (2 or 3 times depending on his state of comprehension), get in the shower myself, get dressed, remind Reese AGAIN to get in the shower and that now he won’t have as much time since others have to shower as well, start waking McKenna up to tell her to be ready to get in the shower, start getting lunches ready, tell Reese he has to start wrapping it up, continue with lunches, tell Reese to get OUT of the shower, make sure McKenna is ready to get in, tell Reese to get OUT of the bathroom, make sure McKenna gets in, finish lunches, start getting Drake up for his shower, tell McKenna that yes, I do think she has a wonderful singing voice but she needs to start wrapping up her shower, see what there is for breakfast, get Drake in the shower, take Reese to school, come back to make sure breakfast (or some semblance thereof) is eaten, finish my primping routine (did I just say ‘primping’?!?), make sure the kids are ready, get them out the door, take them to school, go to work!

I know, I know! There are so many things WRONG with this routine but it would take much time and many group sessions to fix! And I’m not here to say ‘Hello, my name is Mark Massey and I’m an enabler.” That’s another column for another time. It was a quick observation that McKenna made during one of these mornings that brings me to this soap box.

Recently, after Reese FINALLY got in the shower the conversation went something like this…
Me: You’ve only got three minutes!
Reese: I only got in two minutes ago!
Me: Then you should have gotten in earlier! Hurry up!
I go start waking McKenna. Move to kitchen to start lunch routine.
Me: Reese, time’s up. Turn the water off.
Reese: What?
Me: Turn the water off. Time’s up.
Reese: Dad, I’m not done.
Me: Too bad, it’s time to get out. Now!
Reese: Fine! (turns water off)
Me: Kenna, get ready to get in.
Back to the lunches for a minute.
Me: Reese, get out. McKenna’s ready.
Silence.
Me: Reese!
Reese: I’m coming!

A minute or so later, he comes out, and McKenna makes her way in. Only this particular morning she came to the kitchen first to make this observation.

“Dad, Reese can’t shower as quick as you can, so you don’t need to keep telling him to hurry up. Boys have needs too, you know.”

Pause. I quickly debate what to say next, and I settle on this.
“Thank you.”

She went to the shower.

I continued making lunches.

I didn’t feel at that moment that McKenna needed to know what my reasons were for doing what I was doing…it was probably one of those ‘pick your battles’ thing. Plus, I don’t want her to be afraid to come and tell me what’s on her mind thinking I’ll always have a come back as to how and why she’s wrong (I probably do that enough!).

In her 13 year old mind, McKenna had assessed the situation, come up with the problem and solution, and conveyed it to me. In her limited viewpoint, she saw the immediate, in your face situation, and determined that dad didn’t need to be so hard on her brother.

That’s cool. In and of itself, there’s nothing wrong with her feeling that way (it’s also out of the norm, but I digress).

What McKenna doesn’t have yet, of course, is the omniscient knowledge that had been bestowed upon me when I became a parent! Anyone who’s a parent understands, of course! It’s one of those magical, ethereal, heavenly light, angelic AAAHHHHHH things that happens once your child is born. But, again, I digress. I had reasons she didn’t see for ‘getting on’ to Reese as I did. He needs to learn about time management, responsibility of getting things done when he’s supposed to get them done, obedience in general, yada yada.

I said to myself, “I’ll tell her those things later when it won’t seem like I’m just being ‘big bad dad!” (Aren’t I sweet?)

So, I resumed food duties.

And God spoke.

“You know, that sounds just like you when you tell ME how I should run things. How you think it would be better if I did such-and-such a certain way.”

If you have ever seen the TV show ‘Chuck’ you’ll understand what I mean when I say I ‘flashed.’ If you haven’t seen it, I’ll just say I quickly ‘heard’ these words replayed in my head;
God, I’ve evaluated the situation and I really feel it would be best if you did this…

Father, it would really be best if you gave us another car so we can get around more conveniantly.

God, why don’t you heal that person? It would obviously be the right thing to do.

God, why did you take that job away from them? They have a family to support and bills to pay. I wouldn’t have done that!

God, I know I got myself into this situation basically because I didn’t do what you told me to do, but if you don’t ‘rescue’ me from it how else will people see your grace and mercy? Don’t you want people to like you? Don’t you want us to praise you because you made us comfortable again?

I stopped and shook my head. Once again, God had used the words my kid had said to me as an example of what this ‘kid’ says to Him. A LOT!

What HE has said quite plainly in Isaiah 55 is “I don’t think the way you think, the way you work isn’t the way I work” (vs. 8, The Message). In Jeremiah 29, He says “I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! I have…plans to take care of you…” (vs. 11, The Message, emphasis mine). For my benefit, He might as well add, ‘AND DON’T EVER FORGET THAT!’

Our view is so limited! We can’t see the whole! God does! We can’t see beyond the second we’re living in! God can! He knows the lessons He’s trying to teach His kids, we don’t, so we (I) just need to stop complaining and believe He knows what’s best!

I'll get right on that!

In the meantime, I have lunches to make.

Laughing and enjoying the journey, Mark